The Annual Cutthroat Tunno Pumpkin Pie Competition is upon us and the smack talk has started with my nephew, Chris. If I knew how to, I’d share his first Facebook taunt with you, but you get the point. Humility is not his strong point. But this IS competition and what better way to stir up a rivalry than with attitude and a winning pie recipe? (We’re all just jealous…
I was rooting around in my closet a few nights ago looking for a jacket to wear because, joy of joys, it’s finally cool in the evenings here. As I slid clothes along the wooden rod in my tiny closet, I spotted my dad’s favorite green sweatshirt. He loved that sweatshirt and used to wear it all the time — really — I mean ALL the time. If you…
Italian Mom Stories• Thoughts on Life
Who Knew Over Easy Eggs Could Force Me To Mature?
August 14, 2015
Last week, when I was visiting family in Pennsylvania, I ate out more times in two days than I did from the time I was 0 to 13. This behavior would have shocked my frugal parents back in the ’50s and ’60s. From the time I was born until I was thirteen I think I dined out twice. (I did tour the McDonalds in Beaver Falls with the…
Today is the 23rd anniversary of my mom’s passing. She was a force of nature; making you crazy one minute, making you laugh the next. This story is proof. “Franzes!” I heard my mother’s irritated scream echoing along the metal hallways of the Queen Mary. My father and I exchanged knowing glances and knew our tour of the engine room was over. My dad loved seeing the ship’s quarters…
Extras• Holidays• Italian Mom Stories• Side Dishes• Thanksgiving• Thoughts on Life
Tang God for Patty- A Thanksgiving Story – Sort of
November 14, 2014My brothers were smart, they knew not to bring girls they dated home. The few times they did, Mom would be nice, unless the girl happened to touch them. Holding hands, snuggling, or showing any kind of affection meant she was a puttana and would never do for her sons. She never remembered names, only referring to them as, “datta gal,” as in, “Tella datta gal to eatta…
Ever experience something you don’t talk about much because you know people will look at you funny? For me, it was the night my mom visited — maybe 7 or 8 years ago. If you’ve been reading this blog for long, you’ll know that’s impossible because my mom died in 1992. However, when she was alive, she always said that after she died she was coming back as…
Italian Mom Stories• Thoughts on Life
My Mom, Bob Barker, and the Enduring Power of Dreams
September 10, 2014
(September 23rd will be the 32nd anniversary of my mom’s big debut on national television. After this story, which was originally called, “Da Holy Hour.” I have an accompanying YouTube video of my mom in action. Watch it after you read the story. If you ever thought I was making any of this stuff up, this video will prove I’m not.) Some women love athletes, others love actors,…
Italian Mom Stories• Salads• Side Dishes• Vegan• Vegetables• Vegetarian
How My Italian Mom Weeded Out Prospective Suitors
August 8, 2014
It’s no surprise that I was 32 when I married. Frankly, I’m amazed I was that young because my mom had a way of winnowing out the weaker prospects pretty quickly. Any suitor who visited had to be warned about her because her childlike frankness left people stunned. To protect myself, I sat at the table with her, laughing too loud so whomever she was talking to knew…
Just as a woman is watching her face shrivel up like the faces in those paintings in the haunted house at Disneyland, a cruel irony of life surfaces. She sees her daughter burst into full bloom in front of her; probably as beautiful as she’ll ever be. It’s like roses on a rosebush. The mom is the one that’s left with just a knob and some straw-like hairs…
I’ve always thought that one day I’d do something that would make me exceptional. But I’m 59 years old and am not exceptional yet, so things aren’t looking terribly promising.…